The Story of Us
by dennels
Summary: Your writing is beautiful...the inside of your mind must be a terrifying place.
1. Shark In The Water

**A/N 1: This was requested by a lot of people, but it's my first story so be gentle! I'm not sure how I want this story to go, I literally wrote it as I went so I hope it makes sense. Now that I've started it I'll probably have a sense of what I want for the rest of the story. I'll update depending on feedback, but I hope you guys enjoy! Short first chapter just to start it off, they'll get longer in time.**

**Story title/summary: The Story of Us by Taylor Swift**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. Story title and Chapter titles are songs. I don't own them either.**

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1. Shark In the Water

_Maybe there's a shark in the water_

_I caught them barking at the moon_

_Better be soon_

* * *

_"I wanna meet Britney the most- I don't know! Britney or Demi, it's really hard to choose which one I like better."_

Oh man, how wrong I was. Looking back, I don't even know how I could have thought I'd like anyone more than Demi. But then again, looking at now, it's not like I expected nearly any of this to happen.

"I was very surprised too. I think that Paige and I, and 5th Harmony are all brilliant acts in this competition so I was really surprised, but…everything happens for a reason so I'm looking forward to realizing what that reason is." This interview just started and it could _not_ have dragged on any longer. I wanted nothing more than to see Demi one last time and just _leave._

"What have you and Demi been talking about since your elimination? Where do things go from here?"

Ugh, yeah okay because you need to know any of that.

"Everything that I talk to Demi about is very confidential and um, I'm gonna keep it to myself 'cause it's personal. But, you know, it meant a really…it meant so much to me that she had chose me tonight, it really meant so much."

Try as I might I couldn't help my voice starting to crack as the tears came. I needed to take a minute to recover, and apparently they understood that because I was given a five minute break until we started up again.

I took a look around the room; without even trying my eyes immediately landed on hers. She was staring at me and made no effort to hide that she was. She spoke to me without saying anything, her eyes repeating my words to her all night. _I'm sorry._

The tears spilled over our eyelids from both of us at that point. I shook my head to let her know it was okay, that it wasn't her fault. She wasn't having that though. Her words played through my mind as memories of not even an hour ago came flooding back to me.

_**Flashback**_

_"The act I'm sending home is Jennel Garcia."_

_That was it. My time was up, my chance was over. Demi was the only one that tried to save me and it just wasn't enough. Paige hugged me out of sympathy of course but I was too focused on trying to hold back my tears. I was doing a pretty good job with it too…until Demi came up to stand next to me._

_"Alright Jennel, let's take a look back at your time here on the X-Factor."_

_I'd always hated how on every TV show like this they'd have the clips ready to show. It's like they knew you were going home before you even thought it was a possibility. Watching the screen all the memories I had made came flooding back into my mind; it was too much. I cracked. Tears were streaming down my face before I could even stop them._

_I felt familiar hands pull me into a body I knew only too well, and my eyes didn't even open before I was hugging her back. She was shaking as bad as I was._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I love you so much, okay? Don't ever forget that. You shouldn't be leaving right now. I'm so sorry."_

_"It's not your fault."_

_"I should have done better for you. Fought harder. On more occasions than just this. I'm sorry, Jennel. I'm truly sorry."_

**_End Flashback_**

I hadn't even realized how badly I was crying until I was asked to redo my makeup for the remaining part of the interview. I didn't even understand why they'd bother going on; clearly I was beyond upset. And there was only like, one question left. My greatest desire was to tell them to go screw themselves but if I ever wanted a future in this business I could never be like that.

"You good to go back on camera now that your face isn't all red and covered with makeup?" I looked in the mirror to see if I was presentable; you never would have known I was bawling my eyes out three minutes ago. "Sure."

"So how do you feel about the songs you've had the past few weeks? Do you blame Demi for picking bad songs for you?"

I have never wanted to punch anyone in the face more than I did right now.

"I might've stuck up for the song choice this week a little bit more, but you know…I wanted to trust Demi, and I did, and I still do; and she chose that song for me and I tried my best, and that's all that you can do."

The cameras finally stopped rolling after that and I was left to brood on my own. The worst part was that I knew I had at least 3 more interviews later that night. But Demi won't be there; maybe I won't have an emotional break down in those.

"Hey there stranger."

"Speak of the Devil."

"The Devil, am I? Awkward moment when I was the only one who tried to save you tonight."

I tried but failed miserably to laugh at that. I couldn't even look at her. I felt her eyes burning into me from behind but I couldn't bring myself to see her face. She understood that; she understood me. I loved that about her.

"Jennel I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do about this because ever since your audition you were the only person I truly thought could win this." I felt her hand come to my elbow, her thumb rubbing it slowly. "I still think you're the only person that can. You deserve it more than anyone."

"You only think that because it's me."

I actually smiled at that, and I heard a small laugh come from her. She turned me around and I didn't really have the energy to fight it. I regretted it almost immediately though.

Her face was swollen and red from crying, and even though she was smiling she could not have looked any sadder than she did in this moment. She had on a brave face but it was only for my benefit; it made me sick. The way she always put me before her, it was amazing; but the fact that she thought my happiness was more important than hers made me so sick to my stomach and I don't even know why.

"So what if I only think that because it's you? I think a lot of things just because it's you."

"Well you really shouldn't." Her fake smile mirrored mine and I was lost for words. What should I say? What could I say? There was a tense silence between us for what felt like years and our eyes stared relentlessly into the other's until the silence was broken.

"I'm scared, Jennel. I don't know how to go through this without you next to me. I didn't think I'd have to. I'm scared about what's gonna happen here...about what's gonna happen to us."

"There's not really an "us" at this point, and you know that."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry until you believe it?"

"Until you mean it, Demi! God, do you think I like not being with you? I don't, and quite honestly, it upsets me more than anything. I would rather be told I can come back to the show and then get eliminated the next week _again_ than to go through this any longer. You fucked me over and I can't stand it because you were the person I trusted most throughout this whole thing."

Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes but I refused to let myself cry again. She deserved this and we both knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time before I blew up on her.

"Babe, I-"

"Don't call me that."

"Jennel. I wouldn't do it if I had a choice."

"Does that make it any better? You could have said no. You could have told Simon you absolutely refused to. There are so many ways you could have said no, but you said yes. You went along with it and you know what, you didn't have to."

I was surprised I wasn't yelling but I don't think I needed to. My words hurt her and I could see it. I hated myself for what I was doing but it was bound to happen.

"I don't even like Wesley! I only flirt with him because Simon said it would help with ratings, and in case you weren't aware, if this show winds up doing any worse it will look _terrible_ on my career. I will go above and beyond to help you as much as I can from this point forward but I have to look out for myself too."

"Hmm, flirt with a guy you don't even like or lose your girlfriend of what would have been five months last Saturday? Real hard choice, Dem."

I walked away at that point; I couldn't stand arguing with her. I couldn't stand how much love she showed for me on camera because off camera it was the same and I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't stand that I wanted nothing more than to be with her and I wasn't letting myself. I couldn't stand that I couldn't get over her _flirting_ with someone she doesn't even _like_. I couldn't stand myself.

I don't know how long I had been walking but by the time I was done I was standing outside her dressing room. I had walked around the building a good four or five times, trying to be anywhere except next to her. But that's always where I wound up in the end.

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**A/N 2: Song Title/quote: Shark In The Water by V.V. Brown**


	2. Take You

**A/N 1: Early update- surprise! I'm gonna have a busy weekend, and Thanksgiving is tomorrow, well today by the time most of you read this, so I figured I'd give y'all a little treat. I didn't think so many of you would like it! Now I know a few of you were confused with the last chapter; I promise you if it didn't make sense that it will, in time, come together and make sense for you in the end. For those of you who only follow the story on here and didn't find it on tumblr, the whole story is going to be Jennel's POV. This chapter for some reason was so hard to write so it doesn't exactly flow as well as the last one...but it'll get better next chapter. This chapter focuses on one point so it's a bit boring but it's vital to the story.**

******Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. Story title and Chapter titles are songs. I don't own them either.**

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2. Take You

_I might have a reputation_

_But there's only me and you in this equation_

_I promise this occasion_

_It's a different situation, for your information_

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**5 months earlier**

It wasn't some magic love story. I didn't leap into her arms and she didn't carry me to a bedroom as we kissed. There were no fireworks in the sky as we made our way to sleep. It was simple, really; unexpected, but it was nice. A good change from the normal, to be a bit more descriptive about it. Normal was definitely not what we had.

I loved her before the audition; she loved me at my audition. They all did. Every single one of them said yes. She even said I was hot, and I remember my heart beat was racing even worse after that. I couldn't deny I was attracted to her, even if I wanted to; at first I did deny it for a while though. But after knowing her for a month, I took a special interest that I knew she shared. And neither of us were hiding it.

She wasn't direct about it but she didn't bother to act like she wasn't doing what she was. I only found out she shared it based on a few sole things. The first being that we were never _not_ talking, and judges weren't supposed to fraternize with contestants. Second, she made sure to get my number after the audition even though it was probably the stupidest thing either of us went through since meeting. I wanted to give it to her, of course I did; but I didn't want my chances of being on the show to get ruined because we talked. That was the first sign of her being able to understand me though. It was also the first sign of her being able to get me to do what she wanted.

_**Flashback**_

_"Come on Jennel, no one has to know."_

_"And what am I supposed to say to people if they ask who I'm talking to? 'Oh, no one. just Demi Lovato.'? Because last time I checked a normal reaction isn't exactly what I'd get from that."_

_"Just say it's someone you met at auditions. You wouldn't be lying."_

_"I wouldn't exactly be telling the whole truth either."_

_"Why are you making this so difficult? It's just a friendship, Jennel. It's a natural thing that happens between people. Screw the other judges, what they don't know won't hurt them."_

_"Which is why we're in a broom closet talking about this?"_

_She giggled at that and I promise you that small emition of laughter changed a _lot_ of things for me. I felt her hands grab mine and both her thumbs were rubbing the backside of my hands. I gulped, unnoticabley thank God, and looked at her once again. Her eyes were different now; softer. My mouth was different too; dryer._

_"I know it's risky but it's also easy to hide. I promise you I wouldn't do anything that could jeporadize your chances. You deserve it and I quite like my job. Look, I won't even bring up the show when we talk. We'll just talk to each other about each other; get to know one another. Like I said, it's just a friendship."_

**_End flashback_**

Just a friendship my ass.

"Baaaaaabe, can you bring me a towel?"

"Coming my little pain in the ass."

"What did you just call me?"

"Nothing. I'll be right there."

I sighed as I got up, trying to find my shirt and a towel for her. I didn't have to look long though because they were both sitting right next to the bed, oddly enough. By the time I had gotten dressed she was next to me waiting for me to hand over the now dropped towel. My breath hitched a bit; she was soaking wet and wrapped in a towel, and I think that was the most skin I'd ever seen.

"Put your eyes back in your head, will you? I'm gonna stay here and get dressed but you need to head back to the mansion so no one gets suspicious. It's already ten; people should be waking up soon. It was only the third night back so I'm sure people are still partying too late and sleeping for days; you should have time, but it's just to be safe."

It took everything in me to tear my eyes away from her, but when I finally did panic mode was fully engaged. I got dressed quickly as I could and literally ran out of the door. I wasn't even gonna turn back either; until I realized I forgot something fairly important. I ran back down and knocked on the door which opened to reveal a half-dressed Demi smirking at me.

"Forget something?"

"Not with that attitude." I faked leaving again but I felt her pull me back in the room by my wrist. The door shut behind me with her hands on both sides of my head, and her lips about two inches away from mine.

"Do you always answer the door half naked or were you just excited to see me?"

"I'm normally fully clothed but I can't say excitement was the exact word."

"Remind me again why I like you?"

"Because I like you too."

With that I captured her bottom lip between mine, my eyes having closed a long time ago. I felt her hands travel from the side of my head to my shoulders as mine snaked their way around her waist. I pulled her closer to me, feeling as much of her as possisle, which was a lot easier than normal considering she was still only wearing a bra and panties. That register in my mind alone almost made me stop breathing all together.

"You okay there?" And apparently she noticed.

"You..you're not...clothes.."

"Oh God." She giggled, releasing her hold on me and putting on a large t-shirt that at least covered her up...mostly. "Better?"

"I gotta say I prefer you with less clothes on."

"Jennel..."

"What?"

"Go home."

"Well excuse me for wanting to give a goodbye kiss to my-"

I stopped, unsure of what to say. I felt the blush creep on my cheeks from embarrassment but I could see it on her cheeks as well. We'd never really defined the relationship before, and I didn't know what would happen if I decided to just label us right then and there. Would she be upset if I said anything other than girlfriend? But then again..._was_ she my girlfriend?

"Your what?"

"I don't really know to be honest..."

"Well," she began, taking a step closer. "I like you. A lot, and you know that. And well...you like me too, right? So...why not just make it official?"

"Officially a secret is more like."

She pouted and I felt guilt plague me for about a second before it went away. It's not like I was exactly wrong. The both of us chewed our lips, a habit we shared that I found hilarious, trying to find a way to continue this. It was too risky to actually date...but it was too risky for _us_ to _not_ date.

"Yes, it would still be a secret...but at least we'd know what we are."

"I'll try it if you're willing...I just don't want it to affect the competition."

"It won't, I swear."

A smile spread over her face and I couldn't help but to mirror it. I think we had just decided to date without actually saying the words "Will you go out with me?". I closed the space between us one last time, trying and failing miserably to wipe the smile off my face for a decent enough kiss. She giggled again and I felt her push me towards the door; I would have been offended if I didn't know I had to leave about 30 minutes ago.

"Bye."

The door was suddenly closed in my face and I didn't even get the chance to return the goodbye. I don't even remember getting in the hallway in the first place, to be honest. I contemplated going back in and trying to talk to her for whatever reason, but I figured it was best to get back to the house as soon as I can. Twenty minutes had already passed since the first time I tried to leave.

By the time I got back, it had already been another ten minutes; thank God Simon booked their hotel so close to the mansion. I checked to see if anyone was up and no one seemed to have been close to a conscious state. I laid down in my bed, huffing air out as I did. I replayed the last hour in my mind and smiled uncontrollably. Thank God everyone else was asleep; I'd look like such an idiot right now.

I don't think anything could really ruin my mood right now. In fact, the next five seconds made my mood a little better.

_Demi: so was anyone awake?_

A smile played across my lips as her name lit up on my screen. I loved that she had this affect on me, because no one else ever really had.

_Jennel: no, and good thing too. i'm sitting here smiling like an idiot. they'd probably all think i was deranged or something._

_Demi: why so smiley?(:_

_Jennel: idk. i mean i got this amazing new girlfriend about half an hour ago but i dont think thats it._

_Demi: amazing huh? what makes her so great?_

_Jennel: i guess her great personality and drop dead good looks could have something to do with it. she's also a really good singer so i mean that's pretty attractive._

_Demi: well she sounds great, when do i get to meet her?_

_Jennel: right after i nap because she woke me up way too early this morning and this is the last day off for me to catch up on sleep._

_Demi: wow i wonder if you're as rude to her as you are to me. but fine, sleep, i'll just be sitting here bored by myself with no one to talk to until you wake up._

_Jennel: i knew you'd understand :)_

I giggled a bit at my own retort; talk about lame. I didn't want to but I deleted my messages in case someone woke up before me and grabbed my phone instead of theirs. iPhones are overrated; I swear we all have the same phone in this house.

My mind played back this morning and last night and I fell asleep to the remembrance of being in Demi's arms when I fell asleep and woke up. It was only one night but everything felt so different without her next to me. It's crazy how much can change with just the smallest little unspoken gestures.

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**A/N 2: Song Title/quote: Take You by Justin Bieber**


	3. One and Only

**A/N 1: I feel I should warn you guys now; the story is going to be a bit fast paced the next few chapters. This chapter alone is already placed in September whereas the last one was June. I know it's a bit confusing but after this chapter it'll stop being so terrible, I promise. I'm trying to get to the present day quickly as I can without rushing the story too much. I'll make sure to put all the details and write longer chapters, but that means between writing and life in general there'll be at least a week between updates. Don't kill me please. Other than that I've got nothing to say! You guys have been more than amazing and I can't believe how many of you like this story. I appreciate it a lot and I'm so thankful for you guys. Hope you enjoy!**

**********Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. Story title and Chapter titles are songs. I don't own them either.**

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3. One and Only

_So come on, and give me a chance_  
_To prove I'm the one who can_  
_Walk that mile_  
_Until the end starts_

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It was weird, getting everything I wanted for the first time in my life. I was living my dream and there was someone besides me every single step of the way. What was even better, was that someone knew what I was going through and knew how to help me with it. Granted, I always pictured that someone being the man of my dreams, but hey; things change.

Another of the many things that have changed in the past week aside from my relationship status is my attitude. Anyone with closed eyes in a dark room could see just how elated my mood has been lately. But it would take a rocket scientist to figure out why.

I think we've spent less time together since we decided what we were, which kind of blows because I already saw Demi on pretty limited time. But on the other hand seeing her less helped our relationship in some weird way. It made us want to see each other even more when we were apart, which made our secret meet-ups up that much better. We've only been dating a couple weeks anyway; if we spent too much time together we might get sick of each other _real_ quick.

**3 months later**

Things were getting…difficult, to say the least. After being told I was in the final four I went home where I never saw her, and then suddenly we spent more time together than we ever have since meeting. And it was somehow hurting us.

**_Flashback_**

_The wait has been relentlessly stressful and boring. I couldn't wait much longer to be called back without going insane over here; but at the same time, I wanted to wait. I know Demi likes me, actual feelings aside oddly enough. But there are a _lot_ of talented people in this competition, let alone the young adults. Everyone did amazing today and I did the exact opposite of what I was told to do. I saw it on her face that she noticed. And she wasn't happy with me._

_And that scared me._

_"Jennel?" I think my heart may have stopped just a bit at the sudden interruption of my thoughts._

_I followed yet another staff member until we stopped right outside a room where Demi was waiting, and I was told I was allowed to go when I pleased. I took the time gratefully and collected my thoughts for a moment, breathing deeply as I did. I was the third person to go and I had no idea what happened to the other two; they could either be cheering or crying their eyes out and I wouldn't be able to know from where I was. No big deal. _

_I mean, I would hope Demi would pick me because it's _me,_ but she would "never let love and work mix", in her words. Too bad it wasn't actually love yet. I might have had a better chance._

_"Jennel?"_

_"Hmm?" I could barely hear past my thoughts, needless to say I was surprised I managed some form of a response._

_"I know I said you could take your time but we really need to move things along."_

_"Right. Sorry."_

_So that was it. My fate lied behind this door and even though I should I had no idea what it was. I began the dreaded walk in the room before a voice stopped me…again._

_"Jennel?" How many times could she _ask_ me my name in ten minutes?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Good luck."_

**_End flashback_**

It's been non-stop rehearsal and vocal lessons since that day and I am _exhausted_. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love every second of this hot mess I call a life; it just takes its toll on me.

And unfortunately, my relationship.

"Jennel can you come here a second?"

I was with most of the other contestants discussing the show and how nervous we were for live shows to begin when her voice rang through the room. I turned to see Demi standing at the doorway to the room we were in, and we were all pretty surprised since I don't think any of us have ever seen her here when it wasn't mandatory. I looked back at Drew and Wesley and their faces mirrored my thoughts; why was she here?

"Yeah, sure…what's up?"

My voice was shaky and I had no idea why I was so _nervous._

She motioned towards me to follow her out the door and I did so without first getting weird looks from everyone else in the room. I couldn't blame them though; extra time with a mentor this close to live shows is probably one of the most helpful things anyone could get right now. But I had the oddest feeling this had nothing to do with the live shows. And by her first few words I could tell I was right.

"Jennel we need to talk."

"Oh..."

"Do you know what we need to talk about?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd tell me because I'm lost."

We were still walking aimlessly through the house; I wondered slightly if she had any specific destination or if she was just walking to have some sort of distraction. She seemed a bit distraught and it made me nervous. You don't just show up to see someone without announcing yourself first, especially if you're not supposed to see this person outside of certain time periods and there were _plenty_ of people who could say they saw you there.

"I like you a lot, and you know that. But I don't know how easy this is going to be from this point forward and I feel like I should warn you about it." I think I actually felt my heart drop to my stomach.

"Oh."

"Are you going to say anything else or should I just keep talking to myself," she giggled, which admittedly eased my nerves a bit.

"I just feel like I know how this conversation is going to end and I'm pretty positive I'm not gonna like it."

You know, I was actually surprised by this, honestly. I would have figured after everything I've dealt with to make this work and everything she's done, she would have at least given it a bit more of a chance. I was never one for crying and I still wasn't, but I was shocked I wasn't at least tearing up. Granted, we've only been dating for four months but this was the first time a relationship actually meant a lot to me.

"Jennel…" She looked at me with sad eyes and even though I knew I was right I figured I'd at least give her the chance to explain.

"We should talk outside. Don't want someone hearing us." I didn't really give her a chance to disagree with me before just heading to the nearest exit. I walked pretty blindly and found myself in the backyard and even though Demi was right behind me I felt pretty alone in the moment. Her hand came to my back and began going in small circles; I couldn't help but rest my head on her shoulder at that point.

"So are you gonna give me the "It's not you it's me" speech or should I just wait for something else?" I joked half-heartedly.

"I think you should wait for something else."

"Waiting not so patiently then."

"Jennel, first of all, I'm not breaking up with you-" she sounded like she was going to continue but I couldn't resist the urge to interrupt her. Curiosity was always my downfall.

"Really? Then why are you here?"

"Well if you'd give me the chance I'd be able to tell you. But did you really think I was breaking up with you?"

"Honestly yes. I can't see why else you'd come here at nearly ten o'clock just to talk to me, when live shows are in a month and I'm seeing you again in two days."

"Well you're awful calm for someone who thought they were about to be broken up with."

"What can I say, holding myself together is something I'm only bad at doing on camera."

"Well that's got to be be annoying."

The both of us laughed at that; she was dead right. Regardless I faked offence, sitting up and clutching a hand over my heart.

"Demi I'm hurt."

"And I'm right, so get back here."

Before I could argue she pulled me back into her embrace; it's not like I really would have fought her on it anyway. It was silent for a few seconds, but it was probably the most enjoyable silence I've ever experienced. I stared away from the house; it really was placed on such a beautiful hill and you could see the entire city and it's lights from up here. The silence was only broken by a low chuckle from Demi, and I could only imagine what she was laughing at.

"What?"

"It's just funny how three minutes ago I thought you hated me but now we're just sitting here quietly doing nothing and it's probably the best time we've spent together so far."

"Yeah...you know I would never hate you right?"

"Yeah."

"What did you want to talk about though?" I was still staring at the city so I couldn't see her but I felt and heard the sigh that escaped her.

"You know it only gets harder from here, right?"

"How so?"

"With the cameras on us all the time it's already so difficult...but when live shows begin literally every waking moment is going to be video taped. The only alone time any of us will have is when we're sleeping and even then I'm pretty sure cameras are on. Seeing each other is going to be so difficult. On our days off I'm sure we'll have a bit of time but other than that we're not going to have any time alone at all."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want you to know how difficult it's going to be. I'm also saying that if for any reason you can't handle it...you're free to do whatever you want, you know."

I looked at her and she didn't return my gaze; I wouldn't have either if I were her. I turned my head back to the horizon and wordlessly grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers. We both sighed at the same time and a smile slipped across my face. She was probably expecting me to break up with her and I had no intention of that, but I guess she didn't know that.

"Dem...you're so stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"If you honestly think I'd break up with you after everything we've gone through then you are out of your mind."

She finally released a laugh and the tension in the air was gone just like that. I laughed along with her and felt a thousand times better than when she walked in the room twenty minutes ago. Silence fell upon us again and I couldn't help but turn my head to look at her once more. Her eyes were glazed over and she was lost in her own world, staring at the lights. I was caught by surprise when she started talking.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it? The view from up here, I mean."

"I'll say."

Her eyes shifted from in front of her down to me; apparently she didn't realize I had been looking at her. Blush spread over her cheeks as she tried and failed miserably to hide it. I smiled softly and she returned it, giving me the go ahead. I closed the space between us and we shared our first kiss in about a week; the softness of her kiss and the feeling of her lips on mine was driving me crazy and I loved it.

The kiss intensified and even though I knew I should have I couldn't stop it. She went from sitting next to me to straddling my waist, taking my hands in hers and lacing our fingers together. I didn't fight her as she pushed me onto my back and all I could think about was thank God we were on grass.

Slow as our kiss was, air suddenly became an issue and she tore her lips away from mine. I groaned at the loss of contact but when I opened my eyes I was met by an intense stare back from the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I was completely powerless to her. I'm sure she could have asked me to jump out of an airplane without a parachute right now and I would have said yes.

"I should really leave."

"Can't you stay just a little longer?" I shot a pout at her and she bit her lip trying to contain her laughter.

"I wish I could...don't pout at me!"

"The pout is only going to get worse the more you tell me you have to leave."

"Then just let me go and we wont have this issue."

"Well excuse me for wanting to spend more than ten minutes at a time with my girlfriend."

"Babe...I'm trying, okay? Besides," she leaned in, her voice quite and lips brushing my ear with every word. "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle sitting on you like this without doing something about it."

She sat up with a smirk on her face as a shiver ran down my back that I knew she felt. Her satisfaction with herself only showed more as her smirk grew larger with each passing second. She pushed herself off me and just left me there as if she didn't just put a million bad thoughts in my mind for me to brood in. And I mean bad thoughts.

It had to have been another twenty minutes before I realized I was still laying outside by myself. I vaguely heard my name being shouted through the air, piercing the calm silence I had been enjoying. I couldn't tell who it was but by the time I stood up and cleaned the grass off myself, the voice was right next to me with a matching face staring at me confusedly.

"Jennel what are you doing outside? It's almost eleven, you can't just up and leave the house without telling someone where you're going and just sit outside alone. Do you know how dangerous that is for a girl your age, especially out here?"

I couldn't help but laugh at the concern leaking through every word he spoke. He had been like a father to me through this whole thing and I was extremely thankful for that.

"Im fine Tate, I promise. Just enjoying the time alone and all. What are you doing out here?"

"Looking for you. Mind if we sit down and chat a bit?"

"I'd love to."

He offered a smile as we sat, and I looked at the ground before sitting again; I had left an indent from where I had been laying so long. I chuckled lowly at the thought of what could have happened if he had come out here just a little earlier than he did.

"So Jennel, how are things for you? I know it's gotta be hard being away from family and all at such a young age. Hell, I'm 37 years old and I can barely stand being away from mine."

"It's not easy but there are a few people here who make it easier to deal with it. You're one of them, you know that? You always look out for me, and I appreciate it a lot." I smiled at him and he returned it happily.

"You remind me a lot of my daughter. Can't help but be a little protective of you, you know? I wanna see you do well in this world. But I'm a little concerned about the way things are going for you."

At that I was genuinely confused.

"Why?"

"Look, I'm not gonna say anything to the other contestants or the producers or nothin'...but I saw you and Demi out here." My heart sank to my stomach and I couldn't help but look at him. He looked genuinely concerned but I was on the verge of tears. "No one else saw you. I promise. This spot isn't visible from the room we were in since it's so dark outside. I only saw y'all because I came outside to make a quick phone call to my wife. But you gotta be more careful if you're sneakin' around with one of the judges. A lot of bad things could happen to you and Demi if anyone found out."

I literally couldn't breathe. My chest was constricting and I hadn't noticed until now but tears had finally escaped my eyes. _He saw us._ I believed him when he said he wouldn't tell anyone but the fact that someone besides Demi and I knows about Demi and I...it's just too scary.

"Tate...I can explain, it was just-"

"Don't stress about it, alright? Don't cry over it either doll." He wiped my tears away with his thumb and I couldn't help but smile at how nice he was being to me. "I promise you ain't got nothin' to worry about from me. But I'm just warning you to be more aware of your surroundings. You're lucky it was me and not someone else, I think any of them would have sold you out."

I couldn't form words and I guess he understood that. He stood up and offered a hand to help me up, and pulled me into his arms when I was. I cried relentlessly into his chest and I had no idea why. He said he wouldn't tell and I don't doubt him for a second. So what do I really have to be worried about?

"It'll be fine, alright? Just go get a good night's sleep and I'm sure you'll be good by the morning," he said after a few minutes. I pulled away from him and thanked him with my eyes and he guided me back to the house with him. I couldn't really focus on much else while I got ready for bed and when I laid down I only had one thing I wanted to do, and it wasn't sleep.

_Jennel: Tate saw us.  
_

* * *

**A/N 2: Dramaaaaaaaaa. I hope you guys liked this chapter because I certainly don't. If you want to know when the story will be updated/you have questions about the story, feel free to message me on tumblr or PM me on here, I'll be glad to answer questions. Thanks again for reading!**

******A/N 3: Song Title/quote: One and Only by Adele**


	4. I Swear This Time I Mean It

4. I Swear This Time I Mean It

_To form imaginary lines_

_Forget your scars, we'll forget mine_

_The hours change so fast_

_Oh God, please make this last_

* * *

**A/N 1: Sorry for the long wait, my computer crashed and I basically had to restart this whole chapter. But in light of the fact that Jennel is coming back to X-Factor this week, I'm posting this today to start the Dennel feels a bit early. I know I said the entire story would be in Jennel's POV...but that's boring. So from this point forward it's going to be switching between POV's but I'm still going to try to move the story along just as well. And I feel awkward and uncomfortable even typing this right now but you guys should review! I get more motivated to write and post sooner when I get reviews. And I've been getting less reactions with each chapter so I kinda feel like you guys aren't into it anymore. I would never leave a story unfinished but I'm just saying...reviews help with writing :) Last update before the holidays are over!  
**

* * *

**Jennel's POV**

If I said I was surprised at her reaction, I'd be lying. It could only have gone one of two ways and honestly, I was relieved it went the way it did. I was probably being selfish about it but I don't know what I would have done if she had been acting upset about it. We'd have to come together to deal with it sooner or later, and I knew that, but I was fine with her being so _okay_ about things.

The two days between her finding out and me seeing her were completely normal. She didn't bring it up and she was sweeter than ever, even called both days. When I saw her for my voice lesson, she greeted me with a kiss and smiled wider than I had ever seen her smile. Rehearsal went well; we had four hours of camera-free alone time together; needless to say, only two were actually spent practicing.

I was in my own cloud of bliss and my mood seemed to have reflected on Demi because she was nothing but sweet when we were around each other and other people. Two weeks passed and she was still in the most amazing mood I've ever seen her in, but by that point is was getting weird that she'd never brought Tate up. He made no gestures to show he would tell anyone, and he'd basically acted like nothing happened which I was thankful for.

It was the Wednesday that marked a week before live shows, and tensions in the house were high. I seemed to be the only one in a good mood anymore, but given the circumstances it was understandable. We were all anxious and nervous for our first big performance of the season, and it was getting to a lot of people. Even the boys of Emblem3 were getting rude, and they were literally the _nicest_ guys in the house.

I was sitting in my room which had been taken over by my group, and we were talking about how nervous we were when out of nowhere I heard the last thing I ever expected to hear.

"Demi's been such a bitch lately, don't you think?"

I looked up from my phone, reading a message from Demi ironically enough, to see Paige staring at me with a curious look on her face.

"What? No. She's been so amazing this past month…why?"

"Are you kidding me? She's been _hell_ to be around," CeCe chimed in. "Every little thing is 'You're not doing it right!' or 'Do you even care at all?'"

"Same! She's been ridiculous," Willie said. "I know she wants us to win but damn she is getting on my nerves."

"Are you guys serious?" I was shocked to hear any of this about anyone, let alone Demi. She'd been so good lately. "She's been in such a good mood lately."

"Yeah, maybe for you she has been. But none of us are surprised; we all know you're her favorite. She already practically drools over you every time you talk."

I had never really liked Paige, but after that I was probably more done with her than I could ever have been. She'd always come off to me as that girl who thought she was better than everyone else. She's constantly expressed that she thought she would win because she had the "sob story" and a good enough voice to go with it. It annoyed me to no end but I never said anything to her, but I guess she didn't feel the need to have the same level of general respect. I don't know what sparked it in me, but I was done with her shit.

"Really, Paige? Maybe she likes me because I don't walk around acting like I'm going to win the competition just because I had a kid when I was nineteen years old."

"That's what you're going to throw in my face, really? I love my daughter to death and just because I had her before I meant to doesn't change that fact at all."

"I never said you didn't love her, I'm just saying maybe you'd be less cocky about it if you didn't spend so much time with cocks before that."

I had never felt so bad and accomplished about something I said as I had in that moment. Paige looked beyond pissed and just stormed out of the room, whereas CeCe and Willie were laughing harder than I have ever seen them laugh. I had a feeling that wasn't the last I'd be dealing with from Paige but for right now I was content with my work. Demi, on the other hand, I was concerned about.

_Jennel: why are the other contestants saying you've been horrible to them lately?_

I didn't know what to expect and she didn't respond, so I spent my time getting ready with CeCe for the dinner party we had tonight. Simon had given us completely short notice so it was nothing fancy, but I still wanted to look nice for the night. I was nervous about seeing Paige again and slightly anxious she'd tell Demi what happened. I knew with Tate and then this on top, she'd just be a time bomb waiting to explode.

* * *

Dinner was literally the worst experience we've had since being here. Demi's mood was ruined and I was probably more depressed than I had been in such a long time.

** Demi's POV**

_**Flashback**_

Jennel: why are the other contestants saying you've been horrible to them lately?

_I honestly didn't think my bad mood was showing so much with the other contestants but I guess I was wrong. I know I owed it to Jennel to explain everything to her but I couldn't find myself to do it, especially before we all had dinner tonight. I decided to ignore the text and even though I'd have to deal with it later I figured text message wasn't the best way to go about it._

_By the time I got to dinner Simon and all the contestants were already there. I scanned the crowd and my eyes quickly landed on Jennel who was faced away from me talking to CeCe. I approached them and intended to talk to Jennel alone, even though I had no idea what I wanted to say or how I would say anything._

_"…yeah and she's just been so rude lately. I don't know what it is."_

_I stopped dead in my tracks as I walked by Paige and Vino, who apparently didn't notice me there. I stayed where I was, far enough for them not to see me but close enough that I could still hear them. Paige was the only one talking and every word made my stomach churn._

_"At least she's better than Jennel. Who does she think she is saying that stuff to me? I have half a mind to tell Demi but that won't do any good since Demi is basically in love with her. I swear to God it's like they're dating or something. Every time we're all with her she's practically salivating over Jennel, it's ridiculous."_

_"Hey man, they're probably just really good friends. No harm."_

_"No harm? Both CeCe and Willie agree with me that Demi's being such a bitch lately but we asked Jennel about her she she said 'she's been great the past month.' and then got all defensive about it. I'm so fed up and annoyed with this entire thing because everyone's obnoxiously annoying and there are barely any people here who I can actually have a real conversation with that I don't hate by the end of it."_

_I didn't want to hear anymore so I made my way over to Jennel and CeCe again. CeCe was first to notice me and engulfed me in a hug that I needed more than she realized at that moment. Jennel smiled softly at me but her eyes were an entire different story; so full of passion and fear at the same time._

_"Jennel can I talk to you for a second?"_

_"Uh, yeah that's fine...give us a minute?"_

_She directed her question to me but CeCe left with no argument, clearly thinking it was towards her. I looked at Jennel and we shared a short silence of awkward smiles before she broke the silence._

_"So what's up?"_

_"Can we go somewhere a little less...open?"_

_"Yeah."_

_We were currently waiting in the lobby of a hotel that was known for it's restaurant, but I can't for the life of me remember the name of it. As we searched for somewhere to talk, I couldn't help but analyze Jennel and everything about her. Her newly cut straight across bangs barely reached her eyes and her hair was in tight curls that framed her face and gave her a look of innocence that suited her so well. She was wearing a simple light green dress shirt with black jeans and black Vans; makeup was scarce on her face and her eyes lit up the room so well. She clearly tried to look nice without dressing up, but she made being beautiful look so effortless._

_We walked past Paige at some point while I was literally _staring_ at Jennel, and I felt her eyes burning into me as we walked away. I didn't want to think about one of my own group members actually disliking me so much, but at the same time Paige was a diva and we had never really clicked because of that. I can't blame her for thinking she's good, because she is; plus I know she's annoyed that she's always around people who are younger than her and just as talented as she is. But her attitude towards the whole thing kind of brings down her credibility level._

_"How about right here?"_

_"Hmm? Yeah, that's fine."_

_I sat down without really looking, and I soon realized we were on the other side of the lobby, completely separated from everyone. L.A. had just arrived and we were all waiting on Britney to actually go in the restaurant, so I figured I'd utilize my time well as I could._

_"So, Jennel. How are you?"_

_"Nervous because I feel like there's something you're trying to get at right now." _

_Well so much for easing into it._

_"I kind of am to be honest with you."_

_"Well what's up then?"_

_I didn't know how to tell her why I hadn't even reacted to what she told me, let alone actually been better towards her this past month. Clearly she's heard about my attitude towards the other contestants and I'm sure she had questions for me, but I felt like she'd never want to talk to me again if I explained the situation to her. I didn't want to play the defensive card but I felt like starting with the first blow would make this conversation last longer. It's what I wanted and needed more than anything right now._

_"Why was Paige complaining about you earlier?" Her face dropped and she looked away from me; she was clearly hoping this exact thing wouldn't happen tonight._

_"What did she say?"_

_"I walked by her and she was talking to Vino about you, saying you said rude things to her or something."_

_"Anything else?"_

_"She pretty much hates the both of us," I said, emitting a dry laugh with it. She smiled but only momentarily before avoiding eye contact again. It was quite for a minute and she was still looking anywhere except me. If I said I wasn't nervous about what she was going to say, I would have been lying. But at the same time, I almost didn't want to hear what she had to say because I would have to take care of it. And she was literally the last person I wanted to punish._

_"I basically told her she was a stuck up whore."_

_"Jennel!"_

_"What? She acts like she's the ruler of the world and everyone likes her because she has a kid."  
_

_"Whether that's true or not you can't just go around calling people whores! If Simon found out about this he'd have you out of the competition, do you realize that? He wants absolutely no conflict between anyone and if there is any he'll make things happen that you would never want to happen to you."_

_"Oh so me calling her a whore is worth you freaking out over, but me telling you Tate knows we're dating gets absolutely no reaction? Real smart Dem, makes tons of sense."_

_I knew it would escalate to this point and to be honest I was beyond terrified of it. Her eyes were burning holes in mine and she was clearly expecting something, just anything from me. But I couldn't find it in my heart to tell her._

_"I don't want to talk about this Jennel." I made the move to walk away but she grabbed my wrist and faced me towards her before I could even take a step. Her face was calm but her breathing was slightly heavier than it should have been and her eyes were filled with anger._

_"Demi you can't just not talk to me about these things. I understand everyone deserves privacy and to each their own, but when it involves me that means you need to tell me. What's going on with you?"_

_Angry as her eyes were, her voice was just filled with sadness. I stared at her and her face slowly broke down into showing how upset she actually was. She didn't cry but her eyes softened to such a point that I could have sworn she was going to. Her eyebrows furrowed and she just looked so..__._disappointed.

_"I want to tell you. I swear that I do but I just can't right now."_

_"Well when you can I'll be there. But for now I have to go."_

_And that was it. She walked away just like that._

_**End Flashback**  
_

I've been sitting in my room for hours replaying the night over and over in my head and I _still_ couldn't bring myself to talk to Jennel. Granted it was three in the morning and she was probably asleep, but I still felt terrible about it. I didn't sit next to her at dinner and eye contact was basically avoided the entire time. When she left, she didn't even say goodbye; she waited for CeCe to go back to her after hugging me and they just left. Paige talked to me all during dinner and I have to admit, she's not as bad as I thought she was. I still didn't like her but she's easier to deal with than I expected.

Ironically enough, thinking about Paige got me thinking about Jennel. I figured if I could get over Paige's attitude I should be able to look past my own.

_Demi: i know you're probably not awake but i'm sorry about tonight._

Having nothing else to do I stared at my phone for what felt like years before it finally lit up again. Anxiety overwhelmed me as I unlocked my phone, not daring to read the message across the screen just yet. There was no one else it could have been and I wasn't as ready for this as I thought I was.

_Jennel: i am and its fine._

At least she didn't seem mad.

_Demi: do you want to talk?_

_Jennel: what's the point? whenever i try to talk to you you just shut down or avoid the subject. i told you dem, i'll be there when you're ready to talk about it. but i cant deal with just being some inconvenience to you when i need to know something and you dont want to talk about it._

As if I hadn't already felt bad enough about this entire thing. I read the message over and over again internally debating on whether I should respond or cry. I didn't want to do either at the moment honestly but I couldn't be unfair to her and just say nothing.

_Demi: come over?_

_Jennel: fine._

I got out of bed and made myself look decent; well, decent as possible for three thirty in the morning. My hair was pulled up into an extremely messy bun and I was only wearing a bra, panties, and a too big t-shirt. I thought about fixing my hair a little but there was a knock on the door and I was at the front door before I realized it. I inhaled deeply and opened to door with my eyes closed, only to open them and see a very confused Jennel standing in front of me.

She came in with no words and I couldn't stop myself from basically burning the image of her into my mind _again_. We both adorned the bun and too big t-shirt, but she at least had pants on. I watched as she wordlessly motioned me to the bedroom, walking there herself. I laid myself next to her but propped my head up on my arm so I could see her clearly; she was staring at the ceiling and made it obvious that she wasn't going to be the first one to talk.

"Jennel...I'm sorry about tonight."

"And the past month?"

"What about it?"

"You've been in an amazing mood, don't get me wrong, but like...why? Most people would freak out if their secret relationship was found out about, and given the circumstances most people would literally become so paranoid and psychotic about it. But you've been acting like absolutely nothing has happened."

Her eyes didn't leave the ceiling and I just listened to her talk. Much as I hate to admit it, she was completely right.

"I want nothing more than to tell you but right now I just need you to trust me when I say I can't. It's not that I don't want to, okay? I just...I don't know how to explain it to you and I need time to figure it out. But I'll tell you as soon as I can, okay?"

She finally looked at me and I couldn't read her expression at all. Her eyes were blank and her face was completely empty of all emotion. I stared at her and she stared right back, but it wasn't tense or awkward. We just looked at each other. I couldn't help but study every detail of her eyes; the exact shade of chocolate brown they were, how big her pupils were in the moment, where the darker lines ran through them. I had honestly never seen a pair of more beautiful eyes before in my life.

"Does it have anything to do with Tate finding out?"

I looked at her again and I could tell just how badly she needed the answer. I felt bad that I had prolonged this talk for so long; she didn't even have to say it for me to realize just how much it was bugging her that she basically didn't know anything about me anymore. I didn't realize how much it was hurting her to not know what was going on.

"Yes."

Her eyes averted mine once more but I don't think she was mad. Just thinking again.

"Does it have anything to do with the boys in Emblem3?" Now _that_ I wasn't expecting.

"What?"

"I talked to Tate tonight about what happened since he knows and I trust him. He said you've been awfully flirty with Drew and Wes when I wasn't around." My breath hitched in my throat and I didn't know where she was taking this at all. "He said it was probably something Simon told you to do. If that's the case I'm not mad at you, it's your job and I get it. But is that part of it?"

"Yeah." My voice was quite and barely above a whisper. She nodded her head and just accepted it. I couldn't tell what she was feeling, or if she was feeling anything, but she didn't look upset at all and I was so beyond grateful for that. I watched her move her hand to mine, playing with it before intertwining our fingers. It was so odd yet so serene at the same time, the way she was so completely fine with not knowing what was going on at all. Her eyes met mine and a tired, barely visible smile crossed her face for a brief second.

"I trust you, Demi. Please, _please_ don't take advantage of that."

I couldn't help myself before leaning forward and pressing our lips together. I had almost forgotten just how amazing it felt to kiss her, that's how long it had been since we actually had the chance to. It was slow and loving, and God I would never admit it to her but I had strong feelings for her and I knew what they were. The only thing stopping me from telling her was the fear she wouldn't say it back; or wouldn't be able to. But for now I settled with making sure she was happy as she made me.

"I would never."

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**A/N 2: I know on the POV/end flashback things it wasn't underlined, but I can promise you I've been trying for _days_ to underline it and it just won't. Anyway, aw Demi's in love :~) And if you don't get what's going on with Demi yet you might want to read the first chapter again then think about this. And if you still can't figure it out, don't worry because it'll all be explained in the next chapter. After the holidays are over updating should be more frequent.**

**A/N 3:******** Song Title/quote: I Swear This Time I Mean It by Mayday Parade**


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